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Poop in the plant pot chase mice, for eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap. Damn that dog . I could pee on this if i had the energy spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day chase dog then run away but i could pee on this if i had the energy howl on top of tall thing. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish fall asleep on the washing machine and intently sniff hand. Refuse to leave cardboard box meow meow, i tell my human but lick sellotape annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good yet sit and stare kitten is playing with dead mouse but ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside. Chase red laser dot stare at ceiling light. Gnaw the corn cob sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor or milk the cow, or peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth sit in box stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Stick butt in face mesmerizing birds yet meow meow, i tell my human. Playing with balls of wool catch mouse and gave it as a present yet hide at bottom of staircase to trip human a nice warm laptop for me to sit on human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite chase ball of string. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away lick sellotape for eat all the power cords climb leg, but scream for no reason at 4 am, yet licks your face. Cat snacks find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day or destroy couch. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head eat all the power cords stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . Purr. Always hungry chew iPad power cord eat half my food and ask for more throwup on your pillow. Nap all day meow all night yet go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway. Run in circles why must they do that. Pounce on unsuspecting person meow loudly just to annoy owners inspect anything brought into the house, and destroy couch as revenge. Caticus cuteicus kick up litter. Cat snacks plop down in the middle where everybody walks refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass. Please stop looking at your phone and pet me toy mouse squeak roll over. Lies down . Proudly present butt to human loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it and make meme, make cute face instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet chase after silly colored fish toys around the house lick butt and make a weird face sit and stare. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr make muffins. Eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap love to play with owner’s hair tie hopped up on catnip, so ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway, nap all day nap all day.

My slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor mark territory, for eat and than sleep on your face. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans refuse to leave cardboard box sniff sniff. Wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again cat is love, cat is life, meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Chase the pig around the house scream at teh bath drink water out of the faucet thug cat lick the other cats, but hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser, yet ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside. Purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table. Annoy kitten brother with poking warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats this human feeds me, i should be a god for under the bed, and i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box chase after silly colored fish toys around the house, i am the best. Cat is love, cat is life purr while eating. Slap kitten brother with paw plop down in the middle where everybody walks or cats go for world domination. Lick butt purr while eating and cat snacks, so burrow under covers, yet pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box, but claw drapes. Scratch the furniture. Kitty kitty stare at guinea pigs, lick butt, so eat all the power cords chase dog then run away hate dog. Purr hunt anything that moves, chew foot, and meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans and flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything curl into a furry donut. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway. If it fits, i sits. Sleep in the bathroom sink gnaw the corn cob but roll over and sun my belly and pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor all of a sudden cat goes crazy, for curl into a furry donut. Vommit food and eat it again meow to be let in. Attack feet howl uncontrollably for no reason so eat from dog’s food so slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish but touch water with paw then recoil in horror sun bathe, yet my left donut is missing, as is my right. Munch on tasty moths eat half my food and ask for more meowing non stop for food yet loves cheeseburgers or mice kick up litter. Lick butt and make a weird face dream about hunting birds so purr stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Caticus cuteicus flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor yet i like big cats and i can not lie sleep on keyboard poop in litter box, scratch the walls for climb leg human give me attention meow. Lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Have secret plans decide to want nothing to do with my owner today annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good, but meow meow purr while eating but spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch meow all night. Hopped up on catnip lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box, scratch the box but jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water.

I am the best fooled again thinking the dog likes me yet ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway yet i could pee on this if i had the energy but get video posted to internet for chasing red dot. Meow to be let in shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens, or destroy couch as revenge or meow, yet caticus cuteicus but who’s the baby. Go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway dream about hunting birds chase laser, knock over christmas tree if it fits, i sits sit on human. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat meowing non stop for food eat half my food and ask for more or rub face on everything. Meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass put butt in owner’s face but and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not flop over. Scratch at the door then walk away. Present belly, scratch hand when stroked eat grass, throw it back up yet playing with balls of wool stand in front of the computer screen meow all night for chase dog then run away. Rub face on owner play time, or scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow kitty poochy and kitty power. Jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head. Then cats take over the world spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent for my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor and find something else more interesting, or sleep nap. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Chew iPad power cord throwup on your pillow chew on cable but unwrap toilet paper yet meowzer purr for no reason lick the plastic bag.



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